The Good Life...

Happy Birthday my, sweet, sweet pea!!

2011-02-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Addalyn Grace! (Addy G, A Gray, Ads, Admister, etc., etc.!)

The day we found out you were in my belly was terrifying! The day you were born was just the same! But God ordained every single circumstance to bring you into this world and for that I am forever changed/blessed/grateful/full/(the list can go on). You endured a lot this year - a 21 day NICU stay, a 4 day hospital stay with a broken femur, and numerous 'bug's....stomach, RSV, colds...., but you would never know by your demeanor. We pray that the happiness you exude continues through all of life's ups and downs, and that you continue to be such a perfect example of grace, strength, and contentment to everyone you meet.

You are perfect in EVERY way! Slept through the night at 4 weeks, no pacifier, no ear infections (amazing!), love to eat out and shop (most of the time), always smiling, long legs (:)) - oh you are just so good to us! :) You are the best thing we will ever contribute to this world and you have changed our life only for the better! Here is to a happy, healthy next year of your life (you are NOT allowed to break anymore bones...EVER!)

We love you Addy G!!!!!

I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him... 1 Samuel 1:27

(2 Days before coming home)

(day of the 'surgery' for the cast....they said she would be unhappy that night, um, not Addy!)

(CUTEST Sooner Fan!)

(ONE YEAR PICTURE!!!)

Our little Sweet Heart is TURNING ONE!!

2011-01-30T18:17:00.000-08:00

Addy is turning ONE! I cannot believe it. It makes me so sad. And happy. And then sad again. I love, love, LOVE watching her grow, but I can' help but be sad that time just is flying by. She will be our only baby and so I find myself holding on to her more tightly, kissing her little cheeks one more time before bed, and trying to take every single second in as it will never happen again.

On February 7, 2011, Addy will be one. On February 7, 2010 she was born, almost 7 weeks early. She was 4 lbs 8 oz, 4 lbs 3 oz at her smallest. She stayed in the NICU at St. Francis for 21 days. My heart was changed. I can empathize with other mother's who have NICU babies, preemie or not. I would have never known how difficult that type of situation is until I went through it myself. My mind can't even fathom staying in the NICU longer or losing a child so little and innocent. Although I wish I had never seen the inside of the NICU, never seen my poor baby hooked up to wires and IV's, never heard the beeping of a monitor going off and panicking as to why, and I SO wish I could have held her when she first entered the world - I am forever changed. For that, I am grateful.

I know now that my placenta had blood clots. Addy wasn't being nourished properly, if at all, and her umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her neck. I know now that my body doesn't/didn't process folic acid correctly, which is a very important part of neurological development in fetus's, and I know now that God had a plan far bigger for Addy's life than Satan. Despite those odds against her, God intervened and blessed me and Steve with a very happy, very healthy, little girl.

February 7, 2010 was a scary, horrible day that changed my life forever. My little girl came into this world fighting and I was terrified. February 7, 2011 will be a great day. We will celebrate how far she has come, and I am still terrifed :)! In our time of celebration, we have decided to help raise money and awareness for March of Dimes, instead of accepting gifts for Addy's Birthday. March of Dimes' mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. If you can, please visit Addy's team page, Team Addy G, and donate towards her goal. I started out with a higher goal but became nervous and lowered it. Please help me reach our ORIGINAL goal. Any little bit helps and I have to say I have NEVER done this before - this whole 'asking for money thing' - and only signed up and committed an amount because it is all about Addy and helping other families never face what we did and worse. I promised myself that Addy's premature birth would not be forgotten - this walk, this fundraiser, is in her honor and will help keep that promise.

Team Addy G will be walking on May 7th, 2011 @ 10:00a.m.. All friends and family are invited to walk with us!! We will have awesome t-shirts, of course! :) If you want to walk with us please let me know. Shirts will not be made until April. If anyone wants to 'officially' join her team, you can set up an account from her page listed above and raise money yourself, towards her team.

She has come from this:

(notice how big the pacifier is)

4 lbs 8 oz (looks are deceiving - preemie clothes were huge on her and preemie diapers were folded and still huge)

TO THIS: !!!!!

I love you my sweet, sweet, perfect baby girl! You are the best thing I ever did and will EVER contribute to this world!

2010 Recap

2011-01-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOOO! Going to try to post more often. I want to remember Addy G and all her sweetness because time is flying by faster than I ever imagined it could!

2010 was a big year for us. For me especially. It was the best and worst year I've ever been through. I have the best gift ever entrusted to me (ADDY!) but by receiving that sweet thing, I have the biggest burden of having my heart walking outside my body on a daily basis. I want to put her in a bubble and protect her from the world, but sadly, I can't (I may seriously try to create some type of bubble thing though) and I have to trust that God's hand is over her sweet head. Because it is. I think every parent thinks their child is destined for greatness, but I KNOW she is. The devil has tried to steal, kill, and destroy her but she has fought back with magnificent strength. In a little over a month we will celebrate her first birthday. She has come so far and even though doctors and child specialists will tell me that preemies don't 'catch up' until around 2 years old, I don't believe it one bit. Addy is on target with all the milestones and, according to me, is just going to be a genius. I'm not bias though. God's plan for her IS going to be BIG. HUGE. And I pray that Steve and I are the parents that God called us to be for her....I cannot wait to see her grow...

Enough about Addy - although she is what consumed most of my 2010 - here is my recap:

January –

- Took the last trip to Dallas (for IKEA of course) as a family of two….although it was a quick weekend trip I loved it. The weather was nice, and me being a work-out fanatic, thought I needed to walk at 11:00 p.m. (when we arrived), so Steve and I took a walk through Plano, TX (a very safe area...I think) and just talked about stupid stuff and I'm sure he made me laugh and either I peed or almost peed (I was PREGNANT come on!). That was just a trip with Steve that I will always look back and smile about. Nothing special, just us.

- Saw sweet Addy on 4D and got a 45 minute DVD

February –

- Addy born (6 1/2 weeks too early)! Childbirth sucks, but it is the quickest, thing-I-would-not-be-scared-to-do-again thing about pregnancy.

- Spent 21 days in the NICU, hardest, most heart aching time of my life.

- Came home from the hospital as a family of three – best day of my life!

March –

- Adjusting to life with a baby (a perfect one at that)

April –

- Addy’s first Easter

- First time to see Chad and Jaclyn’s house

- Addy’s first birthday party – Reagan Chitty (which was also Addy’s first day out in public)

May –

- I celebrated my first Mother’s Day!

- Dallas trip with Ads, Steve, and Mom and Dad (Addy did great!)

- Back to work! Very, very hard to leave Addy.

-Addy survived her first tornado! (love Oklahoma weather in the spring!)

- Callee Faith Stephens was born!

June –

- Steve’s first Father’s Day

- Addy got her first, and hopefully last, breathing treatment (we were at the doctor about once a week this month! Daycare = sick child)

- Steve left us for 4 days to go bike riding in Colorado….we did ok, and stayed with mom and dad!

July –

- Aunt Mary passed away and we took an 8 hour road trip to Iowa with Addy. It was a whirlwind trip – staying there for just the funeral and dinner and then heading home. Addydid great and we drove through the night on the way back home.

- Steve and I celebrated 9 years of being ‘together’

- Fourth of July at Chad and Jaclyn's. Then we watched Keifer's firework show, which was pretty impressive.

- Addy got her first, mysterious rash! (joys of parenthood??)

August –

- Addy got dedicated at COTM with all of our families present.

- My birthday – could not have had a better present than my sweet Addy Grace!

September –

- First family photos, of course Addy had a random swollen eye for the pictures but she still looked as cute as ever.

- Steve and I celebrated 3 years of marriage! (and those 3 years included 3 dogs, 2 houses, and 1 baby!)

October –

- Addy broke her femur on 10/10/10 right before the Carrie Underwood concert we were going to attend. In a full body, spica cast for 2 weeks. She was happy as ever but got a horrible stomach bug (I think it was the flu) and passed it on to me and Steve. Worse time of my life. Ever. Worse than the NICU. Never want to see Addy on morphine on valium ever again. Never want to hand her over to a nurse before a surgery EVER AGAIN.

- Determined to not question why, but believe God is bigger than anything this world throws at us.

- Addy’s first Halloween, she was a pink kitten. First time to visit the pumpkin patch as well.

November –

- Addy’s first Thanksgiving!

- Addy started scooting/crawling.

- Got word that Addy’s leg was healed and that means she no longer needed to see the orthopedic surgeon EVER AGAIN!

December –

- Steve’s Granddad passed away. He will be missed very much and was such a great man.

- Addy saw Rhema’s lights for the first time, met Santa, experienced her first Christmas, and played outside on a 70 degree day in December!

- Steve’s birthday at OSAKA’s and the Flam’s New Year’s party!

Can't wait to see what's in store for 2011.....It is going to be great!

10.10.10 What a Bad Day [for me]

2010-10-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

Today is 10.17.10, one week from 10.10.10, the day Addy’s femur broke. Sometimes the guilt is unbearable. Her leg would not be broken if it wasn’t for my carelessness. Usually in life, when you make a mistake, you, yourself, suffer with the consequences. But, in this instance, it is my daughter, the one who I would do anything for, who suffers for my actions. And, that is hard to handle alone. I am not alone – I know I have a God who comforts in ways that are indescribable to man, but it doesn’t stop the hurt from building up in me and making me want to burst into tears, fall to my knees, and beg for me to take her place.

Last Sunday around 5:30 p.m., I was getting ready to go see Carrie Underwood in concert. I was doing some last minute wardrobe changes and Addy was getting fussy in her pack and play (playpen) in the bathroom. So I set her on my bed, perpendicular to the edge of the bed that was by the bathroom (almost an arms length away from the bathroom - it is SO close). That way she wouldn’t roll off. I cannot remember if I went directly back into the bathroom to brush my teeth or if I did another wardrobe change, but by the time I had my toothbrush in my mouth to start brushing I didn’t hear my sweet Addy anymore. I walked out of the bathroom only to see the last part of the fall. Addy had fallen off the bed and landed on her back on the floor. My bed is about 3.5 feet tall and my first thought was that the fall was not that bad and, at worst, she would have a dislocated shoulder. She instantly started screaming, which I would later learn was a good thing that she didn’t become unconscious, and I scrambled to pick her up. My tooth brush was still in my mouth and the handle of the toothbrush hit her head as I scooped her up. Steve was in the living room, laying on the couch. He had a surgery two days prior and was not supposed to be doing anything, not going to the concert for sure, and he was not to pick anything up over 10 lbs until the next day. He asked what happened and at that time I am crying, Addy is screaming still, and I still have a toothbrush in my mouth. Steve takes Addy and I go get rid of the toothbrush. During the time that Steve had Addy he tried to get her happy again by standing her up (she normally likes that) and by taking her outside. Nothing worked. I grabbed her and tried to calm her and I noticed when I held her sideways she would stop crying for a few moments. I had a bottle and started to feed her, and she did drink a little, but stopping to continue crying. Steve and I both had looked her over and thought she was just shaken up and scared from the fall. We put her in the carseat and left to meet his parents for dinner before they would take her and watch her while we went to the concert. While we were driving, she would go in and out of crying….sometimes the excruciating, ear piercing, heartbreaking crying. Finally I am getting more and more upset and think that we should take her the ER just to be sure she is ok. After we make that decision, I start looking her over. I notice that her left knee feels different from her right. When I touch it, she screams louder. I am in panic. I can’t breathe. I know I will be asked questions and I fear someone will think I did this to my daughter on purpose. My heart, and my God, know I didn’t but that is not anything that I think of during that drive to the ER. Steve drops us off at the entrance and I carry my crying sweet girl into the ER.

The rest of that night was like a scene in my worst nightmare. CAT scan, MRI, skelltests, all things to check for brain damage, internal bleeding, broken bones, etc. She was not given any pain medicine and she was inconsolable. My eyes were swollen, blood shot to the extreme, and I couldn’t NOT suffer for everything my daughter was going through. I remember walking to the restroom. I had to walk down a hallway that had no other people, and that was just a bright, long corridor. Just thinking of that hallway reminds me of a nightmare. I wanted to wake up and be dreaming, and I have never wanted that more in my life then in that moment. Steve and I waited outside the room while she had her tests, hearing her cry, knowing that she was in a room with strangers, broke my spirit and heart all over again. I remember hearing the doctor say her femur was broke, and how that really didn’t make sense since femurs are the strongest bone in the body and how babies bones are so rubbery. I remember feeling like he thought I hurt her myself. I remember saying, ‘are they going to take her from me’ and I remember so much more. The days that followed involved a police detective interviewing us and doing a home visit to take pictures, a DHS interview and home visit, and a brief ‘surgery’ for Addy to place the spica cast.

There were times when I felt guilty for feeling certain things. As in, because it was about Addy, not me. So I couldn’t get upset with others thinking I did something I didn’t do. I would try to remember, as long as she was ok, that is all that matters. It doesn’t matter what people think, because I know the truth. And I did. I knew that if there was any way that I could go back in time, I would have done things completely differently. I knew that I love Addy more than I love anything, and that there would never be a time in my life where that would change. I knew that if I could take her place, and suffer that pain, I would in an instant. I knew…and still do. That is why I hurt still. Yes, I pray. I know I am not alone, I know that God knows the truth, that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness, that God perfects all that concerns me, but knowing that is not enough to make my guilt go away completely. I wonder if the guilt will go away. I think when I don’t have to see her in the cast I will feel better, but I imagine this guilt is what one would feel if they were driving a car with their spouse or child and got in an accident and the spouse or child didn’t survive. The guilt of that loss is immense, and even though I didn’t lose Addy, nor was what happened even close to that, the guilt remains the same in my eyes. I have forever been changed. I know that through this change, that through my guilt, God will be glorified. I don’t know it yet, but I know that there was a purpose for this to happen. Although I believe God did not intend for this to happen, I know that he is bigger and can turn everything Satan intends to harm, into something great and glorifying to Him. I have made my decision. I am standing on the belief and truth that even though I don’t know why this happened, I know that God is good. He is my source. He makes Addy whole. He heals Addy’s femur. She will not suffer any long-term effects. She will not lag behind in crawling or walking. In her weakness, His strength is perfected. I am forgiven. I can forgive myself. I am innocent and have been set free from my guilt through Him.

Original Due Date and March of Dimes

2010-03-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow was my original due date. It is bittersweet.

Addy was in the NICU for exactly 3 weeks. I'm so thankful for the knowledge of the doctors and nurses that took care of her when I couldn't. However, I would be lying if I said it wasn't the most devastating situation in my life - because it was. I am very saddened by the fact that I didn't get to go through all the normal 'things' of pregnancy. I didn't get maternity pictures or baby showers. Even though I would have been miserable, I didn't get to go through the anticipation and anxiety of the last few weeks of a full term pregnancy. I didn't get to be the first person to hold my baby and her dad didn't get to cut her umbilical cord. She was whisked away from us moments after she was born. I watched her through the thick glass of a incubator for over 2 weeks. I didn't get to take her home right after she was born and stress over how to take care of a baby - instead I got to leave the hospital every night for three weeks without my baby, while watching new moms with healthy babies go home. It was tough, it was depressing, and it was unfair. However, when I look at my healthy, close to 7 pound baby asleep in my arms tonight, I am drawn to tears because I know how blessed she is and how blessed I am to hold her. She always had trouble eating while in the NICU, but now she is eating over the 'required' amount at each feeding and is gaining weight quite impressively! Before we know it she will be a little chub.

Although things didn't go as I wanted them go - ultimately I have a perfect little baby who would not be here if it wasn't for God, and for the wisdom of the doctors and nurses in the NICU. Many babies don't get to go home and many mom's have waited far longer than me to take their baby home, (some to even hold their baby). That devastates me and this situation has changed me.

Since I was in the NICU, I feel like I am part of a club no mother wants to join. I feel like we had such a good outcome compared to many families (Addy was in the NICU for 3 weeks without major complications - one baby that was discharged the same day as her was in the NICU for 3 months). Because of this, I started to look for ways that I could give back to help families that went through what Steve and I endured. I have always been aware of March of Dimes but I started to look into it more because I wanted to find a program that reached out to the parents of NICU babies. Not just prematurity - but all situations that require new born babies to stay in the hospital instead of going home with their families.

The March of Dimes Foundation offers a program that assists NICU parents and families. While Addy was in the NICU I signed up to help with this program in any way possible. I hope that through this blog I can be held accountable to help others. Our lives get so busy that I don't want to forget the heartache that others are going through. I had some great nurses and doctors in the NICU, however I felt that some of them lacked sympathy for the parents, like the career of seeing sick babies on a daily basis had hardened them. Because of that reason, I want to do my part to help encourage and give hope to others that were in my situation.

If you have time, please visit www.marchofdimes.com and see if you can help in any way possible.

Words can never express the joy I feel when I look at my baby girl, how lucky I am that she is here, and how grateful I am to God who has blessed me with far more than I ever imagined I could have.

Last but not least - here are some pictures of my little chub monkey!

Addalyn Grace Mullen

2010-02-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, February 3rd (I was 33 weeks, 1 day pregnant) I called my doctor's office to just ask if some issues I was having were normal. Up until that point, every time I called the doctor with 'issues' the nurses always assured me that it was normal. And I had a ton of issues early on and just came to accept that everything that I thought was weird and abnormal that happened to me during pregnancy was actually just normal during pregnancy (isn't being pregnant so great?).

So, when I told the nurse that I was spotting, had heartburn and diarrhea, I assumed she would just reassure me that it was normal. In fact, I wasn't even going to call the doctor but my friend and boss told me I should call just to be safe. Since I had not had any spotting until that point I decided to call. Imagine my surprise when the nurse told me, "You need to go to Labor and Delivery at the big St. Francis." To quote me exactly I said, "Excuse me." I even argued with the nurse about how it wasn't even that big of a deal.

I immediately called my husband, to which he was just as surprised as me, seeing as I hadn't even mentioned those issues with him until that point. We decided that I would continue working until it was time to go home - I would meet him at home - and then we would eat dinner and head to the hospital, JUST TO BE SAFE. We thought it was silly and that it was going to be a waste of time.

After dinner we headed to the hospital. I was still in my work clothes, high heels, and knee high panty hose. (something I will later regret) They hooked me up to a monitor, and wal - lah, I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes. I had no idea! When I was able to correlate the contractions on the monitor to what my body was feeling, I realized that I probably had been having these contractions for weeks. It wasn't the painful contractions, nor did I feel my belly getting hard like the books say (my belly was so hard all the time anyways), it felt like Addy was just moving and things were somewhat tightening up. Some contractions are normal, but in this case, I was having too many, too frequently.

The nurse violated me for a test that would determine the chances of me going into labor within the next 14 days. I was sure it would come back negative - and I was even sure the nurse thought so too, but, woohoo, it came back positive. When my doctor came in to discuss the issues, he said that if it was negative then that would be great, but when it's positive, doctors really don't know what to do. (so reassuring) He then violated me again to check my cervix. I was not effaced and so he decided to give me some shots of Terbutaline to stop the contractions and a steroid shot to help little A's lungs in case she did come early. The first shot of Terbutaline stopped the contractions almost instantly and made me feel like a nervous, hyperactive person. I guess it increases your heartrate and makes you feel like you need to talk non-stop to anyone who will listen.

So, the shot seemed to be working. At first. Then the contractions came back sooner than the nurses would have liked. So they started giving me a pill called Procardia. This little pill was supposed to make the contractions stop for about 6 hours at a time. And it would give the patient a massive headache as well. (until I got 'used' to it and then it would just be a smaller, annoying headache without the feeling of someone hitting you over the head)

So, here we are - not expecting to be in the hospital for more than a few hours, sitting in a hospital gown, thong underwear, and knee high panty hose, (thanks to not changing out of my work clothes - and to maternity thong underwear) and I am told I will be there another night (the steroid shot for Addy's lungs had to be given twice, over a period of 12 hours). If and when I was to go home, I would be on bed rest for at least 2 weeks until I reached 36 weeks gestation! Talk about a huge shocker. Up until that point I had a normal, healthy pregnancy. Every time I went to the doctor, he said everything looked great and normal. Right around that moment, the tears and emotions came. I cried. I felt guilty. I needed normal underwear and socks.

So that first night, I kept getting the contractions. The nurses/doctor never checked to see if I was dilated for fear it would 'stir' things up and make me dilated if I wasn't. I started getting Procardia every 4 hours instead of the 6 hours, and continued getting the Terb. shot. So, since I my cervix wasn't effaced, they thought the contractions were not doing anything. I stayed two nights, and the the third day at the hospital, the doctor decided to run that fabulous test again to see if I was going to go into labor within 14 days. Surprise, surprise - this time it came back negative! That meant I could go home, on bedrest, and hang out while laying down, taking Procardia every 4 hours for at least 2 weeks. That seemed like my own personal form of hell. But, I was going to do it for Addy. (only for her - I wouldn't do that for anyone else)

** Side note - did I mention my baby shower was that coming Sunday (as well as Maternity pictures)?**

So, I go home! That was Friday afternoon. I tried to relax but I had a baby clothes to wash, a baby room to get together, and a house to clean for my upcoming shower. So, I did what I was supposed to - and made my husband do it all while I watched and told him how to do it. :)

I was told at the hospital if my contractions started to come 3-4 minutes apart, to take an extra Procardia pill. Early Saturday morning they came fast and frequently, and so I took my first extra pill. Later on that day, my wonderful mom and and sisters came to clean my house for my shower, and I could feel the contractions again. Took my second extra pill. Then, no contractions for the rest of the day (that I could feel at least). I got up from he couch before bed and decided to put some sunless tanning lotion on. (Hello, I know my priorities. I had a baby shower the next day and was already swollen and fat, at least I could be somewhat tan.) I noticed my back hurt while I was having my amazing husband rub the lotion in. Then we watched t.v. until 1:00 a.m on Sunday and went to bed.

No sooner as I laid down in bed, my water broke. HOLY CRAP. (so much for that fun little test!!) I didn't know if that really happened or if I peed myself from lack of muscle strength from the 3 days of hell, aka, bedrest. I even wanted Steve to look at the leakage to get his opinion. (he didn't, don't worry) So, about a minute later I realized, it was in fact my water breaking, due to the NON-STOPPING of it.

We head to the hospital - this time, I was in normal, full underwear, SOCKS, tennis shoes, and we even managed to throw some stuff into a bag. Ya know - like my hair dryer and straightener. (but forgetting the camera and video camera - go figure! - at least my hair would be done.)

That was the beginning of the worst day of my life. They say that having a baby is the best day, but that day sucked for me. As soon as my water broke, the pain came. It was not as intense at the beginning, and they gave me Stadahl for the pain. That medicine did nothing for the pain and made me so irritated at anyone and everything that I wanted to punch anything close by. It did make me sleepy though. However, when you go into labor, there is no sleeping. People come by, nurses come in every minute it seems like, and so I was so irritated and tired and yet could not punch anyone or even get sleep. After Steve saw demon Kendall, we told the nurse I didn't want that anymore. So I got Demoral. AKA a sugar pill. This pill was worthless. At about this time the contractions were so intense I couldn't talk or breathe. They were not too close together at this point so I could at least rest during the breaks. I was checked for dilation when I first arrived, and was not dilated. So, again, for fear of dilating me further, the nurses didn't check consistently.

Of course, my doctor was not on call that weekend so I got a doctor I had never met in my life. He came in to tell me that he recommends no epidural and that I try to stay in labor for at least 2 days!!!! Of course I wanted Addy to cook as long as possible, and I would try to manage the pain with the sugar pill called Demoral, but for two days??? By that time, things start to get foggy and run together. I believe the pain became so intense and contractions so frequent that I begged Steve for an epidural. I think the throwing up randomly and the yelling and bawling from the pain made my mom and Steve ask for an epidural on my behalf. After the epidural, (which during the epidural I had a fun contraction to which I projectile vomited almost hitting Steve with it) I was in HEAVEN. I could sleep and not feel anything. They checked to see if I was dilated and - imagine this - I was at a two. About two hours later I was at a four. My family who was up waiting for the arrival of little Addy - decided it would take a while and that they would go home and come back when it was closer. Funny thing - about an hour after they left, the nurse checked me and I was at a 10! 3 pushes later (and an episiotomy) and this little angel was born....

They wheeled her away before I could see her. I did hear a cry and they told me she had hair. I got to see her for a moment after she was cleaned before they took her to the NICU. She was perfect. Born at 5:45 p.m., on February 7th, 4 lbs 8 oz, 17 3/4 inches long. Sweet Addalyn Grace Mullen.

Today is her two week birthday. She is still hanging out in the NICU and it breaks my heart each time I have to leave without her. Please keep little Addy in your prayers - she is doing great - she just needs to eat on her own. Steve and I are so blessed and cannot believe we are parents! Her birthday sucked for me - however, I daydream of the day she gets to come home with us and I know that will be the best day of my life. I can't wait to hold my daughter at home, without any wires and feeding tubes.

I'm back....

2009-08-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't do so well with updating. However, I just decided about 15 minutes ago that I would start blogging again. I think because.......

I'm PREGNANT! I found out about a month ago - and by the time that day was over I had peed on 6 pregnancy tests! (and the following two days, like 4 or 5 more) I called the doctor to confirm, and they asked if I had taken a pregnancy test, I said 6 or more, and the nurse said "I think you are pregnant." I insisted on a blood test to confirm (even though the nurse thought it was unnecessary after the positive tests) and the rest is history!
(DISCLAIMER - I know that picture is probably gross to you - but I had to take it.)

So, there is baby Mullen! The doctor said he thinks it is a girl from the heartbeat - but this doctor is at right 50% of the time - so we'll wait on believing him until we get the 'money shot.' We used to want a boy, but now, I just want a healthy, happy baby. This is going to be our ONLY baby and so I don't care either way. (everyone says we will change our minds, but believe me, we won't.)

So, this is going to be like my 'journal' while pregnant, and hopefully, after Baby Mullen arrives! Steve and I were completely surprised by this baby but we are getting more excited each day at this new phase in our life.

I have started asking the baby to be nice to me. The baby, however is not listening. I am sick about 90% of time (which could be worse I guess) - luckily I have only thrown up once, but the nausea will not go away. Smells and food that I used to love make me gag. Cigarette smoke, which always gave me a headache, now makes me so sick to even think about and I hate how so many people smoke right outside entrances and exits to so many public places. I just want to yell "Don't you know I'm pregnant???" :) I am taking Zofran and Phinergan everyday, every 8 hours. (which I hate to do but I can't function without them) So far, Phinergan is like a sugar pill though. I only take it at night and I don't know if it does anything for me.

This summer has been pretty busy! I have had a bike crash (which I had 6 stiches (first time I got stitches ever too)), been to Dallas twice, Oklahoma City (woowoo right?) Eureka Springs, and Iowa. Two of my good friends had babies (and, found out I was expecting!), I attended a rockin' game night, and Steve and I celebrated 8 years of togetherness in July. My birthday is right around the corner, Steve and I will celebrate our wedding anniversary soon, and then summer is over. Then, in October we are going on a much needed Mexican vacation! Can't wait for that beach - even though I will be a little over 4 months pregnant! I cant beleive how time flies by, but right now being pregnant, I want it to GOOOOOO.

I will try to post once a week. Please check back and leave me comments!!

I am posting some random summer pictures below!

(sweaty doctor stiching me up!) After 5 hours of waiting, I get to go home!)

Baby Ava Baby Paisley

Eureka Springs, later on that day, I found out I was pregant!

Me and my Grandma in Iowa.

My cute baby's daddy and me! :)

Some of my most favorite people in the world! :)

Us in OK City

Game NIGHT!!:)

Have a good week!

Baby, it's cold outside...

2008-12-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

We have been busy! I love the Holidays, but for some reason, we are always so busy the entire month of December. Every weekend this month is booked with some event. Christmas parties, my mom's 50th birthday (yep, mom, had to mention it to the blog world! ), my sister's graduation (she received her Masters! - very proud of her!), the Christmas Train (with the Mullen's - can't wait - it will be fun), Stevee's 42nd birthday (yep, he is not 42), and mostly CHRISTMAS!! So those all are enough to make me spend tons of dollars that I really shouldn't! Please pray we make it through to 2009 - I have big plans and would like to survive through the rest of 2008! :)

We put up Christmas lights last weekend - and even attempted "family" Christmas card pictures with the pups...

ENJOY:

I don't know how I feel about the candy canes - they look too small to me. I told Steve that and he asked if I would like 6 ft tall candy canes instead. I told him yes - so next year, watch out for crazy tall candy canes at our house. AND if we can't find them - Steve can dress up as one. Since, it was his idea and all.

I am glad Steve braved our freakishly tall and VERY steep roof to put them up. They are very pretty and he did good! Thank you Mr. Mullen!

Now...to our fun Christmas card pictures....

Ok...so this is the one I think! Doesn't it just scream "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"??? The dogs were not cooperating! (clearly Steve was not either)

See?! I had given up on Dillynn cooperating and we could have photoshopped her out if Steve would have smiled!

Needless to say our Christmas cards will not include the dogs. Or Steve.

I have so much to be thankful for...

2008-11-26T16:37:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for....

(in no particular order of course....)

1. MY FAMILY! Steve and I am so blessed to have all of you in our lives - you don't even know!

The Browns - Christmas 2007

The Mullens - Christmas 2007

Sept. 2007

(can't leave out the pups!)

2. My new, MOLD FREE home! (those who know me personally know why I say MOLD FREE - that will be a post all its own someday) God is good and I am so thankful!!

and my new massive bathroom!!!....

Again, for those who know, this is SO much better than the tiny, one-sink bathroom I had before!

3. M & S!!! (and random nights of really fun pictures!)

You two make me laugh - really hard. Thanks for making my life more entertaining!!!

4. C.M. aka Steven R.

You make me laugh when I need to the most, you make my life better by just seeing your face each morning, and you are the one I want by my side as I grow old.....I LOVE YOU MUCHO!!!

God has blessed me with an abundance of things and I am forever grateful! Happy Thanksgiving!!

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree...

2008-11-23T17:02:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll!! I say that like I have so many followers... I mean, "Hey to the 5 people that will read this!"

This is an exciting time of year - it is my FAVORITE time of year. I absolutely love the colder weather and Thanksgiving and Christmas time! My mom always goes all out for Christmas and she decorates so well....she actually leaves almost no normal house decorations up. They are replaced with Christmas pictures, wreaths, and life-size cutouts of the Rockettes. Ok, I was joking about the life-size cutouts of the Rockettes but I wanted to make sure you were paying attention. No, but my mom decks everything out - and I think she is the one of the reasons I love this time of year. I have so many great memories of the Holidays growing up and want to recreate those every year. I don't have as many decorations that my mom has, but I will, without Steve's knowing, slowly buy lots of decorations until one year I have replaced every normal decoration in my house with holiday decor! Steve won't even notice - promise.

So, this weekend Steve and I put up our Christmas tree. Next weekend - lights. YAY - Steve, once again, is so excited about getting on our very steep roof to put lights up that will last for about a month and make our electric bill become a little bit more expensive. (Keep in mind when I say excited while talking about Steve that means annoyed.)

I have some pictures from this weekend....(remember you can click on the picture and it will open a much larger picture in a new window...to get back to my page you will have to hit the back button....that is for my dad who will probably wonder why the pictures are so small - love you dad!)

It took two days for us to put up our tree because it was a new tree that we bought the day after Christmas last year and we had some "technical difficulties." Meaning, this new tree was pre-lit and one section of lights on three of the branches did not work! Fun right? Well, since Steve is so awesome - he got them working. And I never doubted his ability for one second.

Here is day one:

Here I am "fluffing out the limbs" - to which Steve comes up shortly after and says I am not good at that. Which I promptly responded with, " I have to go back and re-do the ones you did so you are probably looking at yours." We really do love each other.

There is Steve...probably re-fluffing the limb that I just fluffed in the previous picture.

I have to add some pictures of the dogs - these pictures really show their personalities.

Mayzi - she always acts like I am bothering her when I take a picture of her - she will be laying all cute and normal and then when I come up with the camera she gets this face. The "get away from me, I am napping" face.

Here is Rocketman. I have his ball sitting in front of me. I am not touching the ball nor have I done anything to make him think I will throw it. He is just SO obsessed with that stupid ball that this is his stance pretty much 98% of the time. He always has to be ready for the 2% chance that we will throw it.

Here is Satan. Ok...Dillynn. Notice two things: she is on the couch and the green string that is on the couch. First, she is not supposed to be on the couch but she thinks that when we say "no" or "get down" that it means "stay" and "good girl." Second, the string is something she found from the Christmas tree that we told her not to take. I don't know what happened to that string after this picture but I assume Steve will find it in our backyard when he is picking up the dog poop.

Now...Day Two...

This was my first time to do this ribbon without my Mom's help - it was tough but I persevered and made it through. (Even though I almost had to call her for some advice...) You taught me well Mom!

Look! I got wounded! I was not prepared for this part of decorating...once again, I persevered and made it through though!

See? This is me persevering...

Here is Steve...apparently he is super excited to hang that ornament...

That is why...it is the only car ornament. He did tell me that it is a Charger and asked where his Firebird ornament was...

Here is one of my favorite ornaments - it was given to us last year from my wonderful Mother-in-law. I love it because it it includes our "family" - but what I think is hilarious is that whoever did the writing (which was not her by the way) made my name, Kendall, the name of the MALE father. Did the ornament guy think that my Mother-in-law was buying an ornament for her gay son? Because then Steve is written on the FEMALE mother. It is funny!.

Here is the finished product!

Here we are - blocking the tree! It really does look pretty and I am proud that I didn't have to call my Mom for help! (and all the lights are working!...for now!)

Thanks for stopping by! Have a great week!! Oh, and leave a comment!!

first time at this...

2008-11-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

Hey blog world! I have secretly been stalking many blogs over the last couple months and decided (against my husband's wishes) to try this thing out on my own. I have always been hesitant because my life is not very exciting - it is great, don't get me wrong, but I am fearful I won't have much to say to draw the crowds in....but...since this is my first EVER blog post, I will introduce me and my family....try not to get too enthralled...

My husband, Steve, is very excited about this blog thing - I say excited but I mean annoyed. He is a web designer/developer so he knows I will be asking him for cute, fun designs to keep this blog hip, but in return he will give me a look, mumble something, and find me a template from the internet rather then spend his "computer time" making me something to show off. Here is my husband, I mentioned his name is Steve but I call him HOTT, Stinky, Mullen, and my best friend...the one who knows me and loves me despite of it....

Ok - well this of course is his normal "going out" attire - but most days you see him more like this....

I love him - and am so blessed to be married to this big 'ole weirdo!

Now, I said I would introduce you to my family but I mean - my husband, my dogs, and me....no children yet or in our immediate future. But, I do have some spoiled rotten dogs that keep me entertained and surprised all at the same time.

First, here is the oldest....miss mayzi...(also called crazy) :
She is MY dog - I am convinced she knows and understands exactly what I am saying to her ..she is 6 years old and she is never going to die. (yep, me and her agreed on that once) She hardly listens to Steve when I am around and I think it secretly irritates him a lot. She is SO smart and has the worst breath ever - it seriously smells like something pooped, then died, then decayed in her mouth. I should probably do something about that.

Here is Rocky....

I call him Rocketman for short. Steve likes to call him RockStar but I never got in on that one. Someone from Steve's old work found poor Rocketman in a ditch when he was a puppy and Steve thought he looked like Mayzi and brought him over to show me...and when I first saw him I knew I had to keep him. This boy is OBSESSED, and I mean OBSESSED with his ball - from the minute he wakes up to the minute he falls asleep he is constantly wanting us to play ball with him. It is cute most of the time - but sometimes he barks at us if we ignore him. He has weird quirks like snapping if I try to dress him in a sweater and hiding his food in random places, like under the covers in our bed (seriously), but he has cute little bubble eyes that make up for it.

Ok...here is Dillynn.

Dillynn is my very boyish, female Lab. She is sometimes referred to as Satan or Idiot. She can be both most of the time. I hear that you should give labs 2-3 years before you give up on them and we are closing in on year 2....she has come a long way but I pray she goes further. She is so funny but still very clumsy. She weighs around 85 lbs but thinks she is the size of a chihuahua and acts on that belief by trying to sit in my lap every time I watch t.v.

Ok - so here I am....

Again in my normal -going-out clothes.....

Ok not so much - but Halloween was when I took the most recent pictures. Some random info about me is that I am a clean freak - you will never see my house dirty. I tivo the soap opera Days of Our Lives (don't judge me) and LOVE the show The Office (that's what she said!). I am dog person (can you tell?) and if it wasn't for Steve I would pick up every stray I see and buy all the puppies that are in the pet stores for sale. I have the best family - well at least the craziest family - ever. I love them more than they know and feel secure in knowing that they are always here for me and Steve. I have a weird passion for Human Resources (what I went to school for and what I do) and love it so much that I am currently enrolled at OU for my masters in Human Relations. Also, and this should have been first - I am a Christian. I love Jesus with all I have and try to live each day as non hypocritically as I can - I am not perfect but I am saved - and I know that my life is far, far better than anything I could have thought up on my own. I want what God wants for my life and I am enjoying finding out what that is!

That is all for tonight! Please come back! Oh and please leave a comment! Happy Monday!